10 (slightly crazy) things to do with your ashes
Ashes, cremation remains or cremains will normally be presented to deceased family in an urn, sat on the mantelpiece for a bit and then, you know the drill, the family gather together to scatter them somewhere with great importance, great beauty or both.
But… WAIT! We now have the technology to make pretty much anything happen (for a price of course) so, why would you settle for being dumped out at Lake Windemere when you can do THESE…
Shine on you crazy diamond
Ashes are, after all carbon so the natural next step would be to use them to make diamonds! These man-made-people-diamonds can then be mounted into whatever piece of jewellery your heart desires. In fact, if you’ve no ashes lying around then the people at Heart in Diamond can create you one from a lock of hair…
Go out with a BANG as firework
Now, this one does appeal… have your ashes mixed with the combustible powder of a couple of dozen fireworks. Then gather your friends and family round for a big fat, showy, bangy, colourful send off all while spreading your ashes far and wide. Personally I’d have That’s all folks spelled out, or maybe Don’t look behind you...
Sleep with the fishes
More custodians of the planet than enraged mobsters, Eternal Reefs will take your cremains and incorporate them into artificial coral reefs. You’ll then become a beautiful habitat for fish and other sea creatures although, to pay you a visit your family will all have to learn how to scuba dive…
Become a tree
Tree urns have been about for a while now. Basically a biodegradable Urn that is full of your ashes, soil and a seed – which is then planted. It’s a lovely idea, the world definitely needs more trees and Spanish based Bios Urn are on an environmental mission to turn the worlds cemeteries into forests. Perhaps we could replace the decimated rainforests this way!
This strikes me as SLIGHTLY unhygienic but, yep you guessed it… your ashes mixed in with tattoo ink and then punched through the epidermis of one of your closest friends or relatives. Does make me slightly queasy…
Be made into a Pencil
According to Nadine Jarvis, designer of all things cremains related, the ashes of one human person can create approximately 240 pencils. That should keep the grandchildren stocked for a good few years. You can just imagine it… ‘Can I borrow your pencil…’ ‘yeah, it’s my Nan by the way’ In fact Nadine’s cremation creations offer a myriad of amazing, albeit slightly creepy, products made from ashes – give it a google.
Following his tragically early demise in a 1996 shooting Tupac Shakur’s crew, the Outlawz, mixed his ashes with weed and smoked him. Of course they did. Today, there’s a life-size Tupac statue and “peace garden” — which is apparently available for weddings — near Atlanta.
3D bust – Your urn created in your likeness
Think Silent Witness-esq facial reconstruction sat on the mantel piece, full of your ashes. Definitely the creepiest on this list by a mile. It’s the EYES… they follow you around the room!
Pressed into a vinyl record
Apparently this can even include a message from beyond the grave from you. Actually that’s a close contender for the creepiest on this list. Then again, who has a record player these days anyway…
Ask Keith Richards to do the honours
Rolling Stones guitarist Keith Richards told NME in 2007 that he had snorted a line of his father’s ashes. Later discounted as a joke by his manager we still want to believe it to be true of the old rock ‘n roller!
The Future Legal Services advice is… whatever your wishes are (no matter how odd!) make sure you have it documented in your will and, it’s a good idea to make financial provisions to have them carried out. Your family perhaps may not have the funds to send you into space, no matter how much they might like to!